


Deserved It

by Jam_sandwhich



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: It's hard to tag this, M/M, Physical Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Possibly Triggering, brief mention of Richard and like really brief, i wrote this when i was sad, this is almost non-con but not exactly, this is like a flashback to the bad past, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 17:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15344682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jam_sandwhich/pseuds/Jam_sandwhich
Summary: This isn’t the first time this has happened to Donald, but he genuinely thought Gavin was different.





	1. Trust

_ “Hooli was like an abusive spouse to me.” Jared said, sparing Richard of any in depth description of the real horrors he faced. In actuality, working directly under Gavin Belson meant actively subjecting himself to being the victim of an abusive spouse _

Moving to the valley was hard for Donald but it was necessary. His friends had called his move a punishment but he was merely too comfortable where he had been. One of his foster brothers warned Donald of the very thing and had advised him to always to be on his toes, literally, and hang out nowhere for too long. The advice seemed peculiar to him and yet he had followed it for 20 years now. The input had never turned out sour, Jared found a job at Hooli easily and his new apartment was a surprise added bonus. 

 

He loved it at Hooli. Everyone was very kind and yet… distant. Donald felt that it had only taken him a week to become well acquainted with the rest of Nancy Pelosi’s staff. But Donald didn’t see himself building lifelong relationships with other Hooli personal, for the exception of one person. One would think the CEO and founder of a billion dollar company wouldn’t have enough time to fraternize with a lowly new employee, but Gavin Belson had been the warmest to him out of everyone. On Donald’s second day, Gavin stopped by his cubicle to chat with him and share a few words of encouragement. He referred to him Jared the whole time, but it was Donald’s own fault for not wearing a name tag. 

 

Gavin came around often. He’d start in the morning to greet him: ‘Good morning, Jared! How is my favorite employee doing today?’ And at the end of the day if he happened to pass Donald’s office space: ‘Good night, Jared. Be sure to get some rest, okay?’ The attention always made him blush, but it also made it harder for him to make new friends in the office. That didn’t bother him much anyways as Gavin greeted him during break hours and occasionally asked if Donald would like to join him in his office for lunch. 

 

It had only been a month when Gavin told Donald he had something special to gift him. This was a surprise to him; in fact, when Gavin had called him up to his office Donald was convinced he was being fired. It was all so embarrassing as he had been crying on his way up the elevator. But Gavin wiped those tears away when he announced,

 

“Jared, I’m inviting you to join me at my private estate for dinner… and something a bit extra. Will you accept?”

 

Donald had cried again but with a different emotion leading him to tears. He knew crying irked Gavin so he tried to stifle the cracks in his voice. 

 

“Yes, thank you so much.”

 

That’s where Donald is now. Wondering what to wear, remembering he is not Donald in Gavin’s presence, knowing his place. This is what is hard about being at Hooli and away from his friends: no one’s here to give him advice. Sure he could phone his former colleges but they don’t understand Gavin’s standing; they don’t know what he likes or what he’s like. How could they understand the privilege, the honor, of being invited to one of Gavin Belson’s own homes? 

 

This is difficult, it’s making Donald’s hands sweat. The white button up underneath the navy sports coat doesn’t seem fitting anymore. It seems insulting almost! The moment Gavin sets his eyes on his outfit he’ll throw him off his property for sure. He needs to take seat. 

 

“Close your eyes, Donald, breathe.” He guides himself through a mindfulness session as he so often does. He needs to calm his nerves. Gavin likes him the way he shows up at work -  of course he won’t wear chinos to this event - he’s fine. He reaches into his closet and pulls out the outfit he wore to his mother’s funeral. Renting a suit seemed far too disrespectful to the woman who gave birth to him. He broke into his rainy day fund and purchased this outfit just to wear it once. Gavin  _ was _ this important so he put it on.

 

“Jared, you look splendid! Did you do something to your hair?” Gavin greeted him from inside his home. It was beautiful. The house was not only guarded by a locked gate but security posted out front. The mansion was as large as all of the houses he’d briefly been hosted at together. He tried to stifle the awe in his face but he failed, Gavin was drinking up the silent praise anyways. 

 

“I did, thank you for noticing.” Donald had not but he knew better than to correct him. 

 

“Please, take a seat.” Gavin offered as they stopped at a table.

 

Gavin has ordered plenty of food for them to feast on. First cheeses and soon onto the wines and then the main course. Donald feels spoiled, he doesn’t deserve all of this but Gavin is giving it all to him. Just him. For the first time in a while, he feels special. He soaks up the feeling just incase it goes away, but it doesn’t. He’s treasured, important even, the whole meal through. 

 

“So I bet you’re wondering why I invited you here. Do you have any guesses?” Gavin poses. It makes Donald feel giddy inside, or maybe that’s just the alcohol in him. Either way he plays along.

 

“To celebrate my one month anniversary at Hooli.” Gavin chuckles.

 

“Do you think I do this for everyone?” Donald feels his face get a bit hot from embarrassment. It was the alcohol answering Gavin’s question, not him, “Of course not. Only for you, Jared. Because guess what? You’re unique.”

 

“Oh.”  It comes out baseless and empty but he really is bashful. Donald gets complimented by Gavin all the time but he never gets used to it. He feels like a little girl on the school yard after being tagged by a boy time after time again.

 

“How would you like it if I promoted you to be my right hand man?” Donald gasps. In one month Jared has gotten him farther than Donald has ever gone in 28 years. He’s more grateful for Jared’s existence than his own but he’s too excited to truly focus on that.

 

“I would love that!” Donald blurts without thinking, Gavin smiles despite the forwardness.


	2. Trusted

The next day, Jared is situated in his brand new office and is immediately called up to Gavin’s. There’s no escort to call the elevator this time, he’s on his own as he rides up to the office. As he steps in he senses a new air to Gavin. He’s not dressed indecently or even slightly casual, but the way he wears his jacket and tie is different. The look in his eyes is different; they’re not admiring Jared, they’re stalking him like prey. 

 

“How has your morning been so far?” Gavin asks. It’s formal, still, but his tone has changed… somehow. Jared’s not quite sure what’s off. 

 

“Wonderful.” He hasn’t been able to enjoy much of it since he had been spending most of his time moving the things from his old cubicle to his new office; however, he knows better than to correct him.

 

“Good… that’s good.” Gavin saunters around his desk, closer to Jared, just close enough to - grab him? 

 

“Gavin?” Jared laughs, no humor’s behind it as Jared is more frightened than amused. Gavin’s fingers are a bit to tight around Jared’s collar, too close to his neck. He is no where close to being Jared’s height but he manages to make himself seem that way: big, tall, physically powerful.

 

“Do you know what it means to be my right hand man, Jared?” Gavin coldly questions. Jared had sensed right, there was clearly something different. Gavin must’ve found out that he’s lying about being the man he said he was: Jared. He was instead the coward who nodded when Gavin messed up his name. Donald did something wrong. He fucked up everything that Jared so kindly earned for him, “Do you?”

 

Jared nods his head vigorously.

 

“Show me then.” Gavin shoves Jared down on his knees, violently. Jared can’t quite gather his thoughts. What was the problem? What is he doing now? The sound of Gavin’s belt buckle coming undone promptly answers one of his question. 

 

This isn’t the first time this has happened to Donald, but he genuinely thought Gavin was different. Usually this would start from day one, Gavin was caring and kind during his first days- this wasn’t Gavin, something was wrong, this can’t be right, no-

 

A stinging sensation moves across his face and before Jared knows it his head has hit the floor. That wasn’t the first time this has happened either. 

 

“Are you going to show me or not, Jared?” Gavin yells far too loud for him to care if anyone hears him. That means he planned this out. He had the floor cleared of any assistants and staff. He’s in his right mind and no one is coming to stop him.

 

Jared pulls himself off the floor and does as Gavin asks.

 

This continues two times a week, varying only at the different times of day. Gavin calls him in as late as five minutes before Jared is supposed to leave and bends him over his personally designed desk. Moving inside of him for what seems like hours, seemingly never satisfied. At the same time, it’s not all bad. Jared sits in on board meetings and gets input in many decisions at Hooli. There’s actual work that happens when he’s not being physically used. Surprisingly the both of them are very professional outside of their sexual encounters. It wasn’t so easy the first week but now Jared could even say he works well with Gavin,  _ this _ works well with him. 

 

It’s not all great of course. Gavin will not hesitate to call him anywhere, especially during important staff meetings. The first time it happened Jared had excused himself from the room and kindly asked Gavin to wait 10 minutes for the meeting to be over. He did, but he made a scene about it by waiting outside the glass room the meeting occurred in. No one was focused on the work they were supposed to be doing as Gavin’s presence made everyone uncomfortable. The meeting ended five minutes early. When Jared and Gavin got up to his office Gavin gave him the most painful slap he’d felt in all of his life. Gavin said he’d been waiting to hit him like that and fucked Jared bare soon after. 

 

From then on Jared always left the staff meetings promptly the moment he felt the first ring of his phone in his pocket. It earned him dirty looks and mean stares, isolating him further into oblivion, further into Gavin. Controlling Jared by fear of him was what Gavin had wanted and it was working and Jared knew it. To fight against it, Jared often attempted to make friends with the programers on the lowest level. Despite all the effort he put into befriending them he obviously didn’t fit in. 

 

He felt stuck. However, this was the most privileged situation he found himself stuck in. He is working the best job he’s ever had, earning a comfortable salary, living in a homely apartment, and pleasing one of the most powerful men on Earth. The infrequent violations he faces are small prices to pay for being able to thrive. He’s ungrateful for feeling stuck, absolutely rotten- spoiled. 

 

_ Think of all the children you grew up with, Donald. Think about how many of them were actually stuck in your hometown when you got to leave, when you got lucky. You made it, you got to leave and you’re here now. You’re not stuck, you’re fortunate. Your foster brothers and sisters would kill and steal to be where you are now. You’re fortunate, you’re lucky, you’re living the life! _

 

Amid his confusion Jared gets a text. It’s from Gavin. ‘Be here at 8’

 

_____________________

 

It was the first time Jared was invited back to Gavin’s home since he had accepted his offer to be his right hand man. He thought about the first time Gavin had called him ‘unique.’ He thought about the way that made him feel: warm, appreciated. He thought about how naively he’d consumed Gavin’s food and drinks. He was foolish. Did he think it was all free? That the cured meats and aged wine was delivered to him without a price tag? Foolish indeed.

 

The security posted outside of Gavin’s mansion must have been a charade for silly Jared as he was the only one there to key in Gavin’s gate code. His front door was open and he was not standing in the doorway to greet Jared either. Gavin felt like he no longer had to charm Jared, he already had him under his spell and anything more would be overkill. 

 

Gavin was instead sitting at the same table Jared had once sat before, drinking. Jared could tell he was intoxicated, the look was all too familiar to him. The door was only a couple steps behind him, there was a physical out, but Jared knows better. He knows what’s on the horizon and the only thing he can do is move towards it. Gavin’s done this to him and Donald has let him.

 

“Gavin?” Jared asks softly.

 

“Jared, come here.” Gavin commands, face down on the table. Jared does. He takes a seat next to him without being asked. He eyes the other glass of red wine and without thinking twice, downs the whole thing in one gulp. When he places the glass back down on the table Gavin has peeled himself up, he looks furious.

 

“Do you know how expensive that was? Did I even allow you- you to drink that?” Through the slur of his words a grumble in Gavin’s voice is heard. It unfamiliar to Jared’s ears which only rattles him even more. Jared’s not completely sure why he acted on that impulse, but he didn’t stop himself. He disappointed Gavin and now he deserves everything that is about to come his way.

 

“No… Gavin, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Jared has earned himself another slap. This time Gavin cuts his lip which is bleeding out on his table. Jared tries to rub it off the table before Gavin sees but his efforts are in vain.

 

“Jared, you- I invited you over and you disrespect my things like this!” Gavin points to the spot where the blood had been with a shaking hand, “I don’t want to have to do this, but I’m going to have to teach you a lesson.”

 

Jared feels his face get hot. In the presence of Gavin this had happened often. Gavin used to give him compliments, make him feel like the prettiest person in the office. Gavin spoiled him during dinner when he gifted him his special offer. Even when Gavin was using Jared, pushing deep into him during work hours, he felt prized. This time the rush hitting his cheeks isn’t coming from flattery, it’s coming from the tears streaming down his face. He knows what’s going to happen to him,  _ he knows what he’s going to let happen to him. _ Jared’s breath gets short and the air feels heavy, he can’t stop himself from silently gasping for air. Then Gavin grabs his shoulder.

 

.

.

.

 

“Hooli was like an abusive spouse to me.” Jared said, sparing Richard of any in depth description of the real horrors of he faced. In actuality, working directly under Gavin Belson meant actively subjecting himself to being the victim of an abusive spouse.


End file.
